I had illusions of posting a blog about a month ago stating: I'M BACK. It was one of my first "real" runs since the Boston Marathon, and I felt pretty good. It was the start of my training for the Philadelphia Marathon (November 23rd), and I felt that blogging might actually aid in motivating me.

However, as has been the case since the Boston Marathon back in April, I was busy that day and after the run itself, I moved on to working and forgot about blogging. Also, I had a bit of an inkling that I wasn't truly starting to train. I had done one run, and that was it.

Since that time I've managed to sneak in about an average of 3 runs per week, and still don't feel as if I'm training in any sense of the imagination. I've been on the go with work and personal travel since that first run and my workload while I've been home has been more than usual. I just haven't committed to the training process.

This past week I spent in Vancouver, and I wasn't able to log every run I had hoped for. I sacrificed my long run on Saturday, in favor of the idea of going mountain biking. By the time that fell through there wasn't time to pound the pavement for any miles. I was able to run for an hour both Monday and Wednesday, and dip into yoga after my run Monday and again on Thursday. I had an 8:15 flight out of Vancouver on Friday morning, which called for a 530 wake up, so I knew I wasn't going to get a run in Friday, either.

My plan was to run in Milwaukee today, but I'd hoped to be better rested. I was supposed to get here around 4pm local time yesterday, but an 8 hour delay (yes, I think it is the longest delay I've ever faced) of my flight meant I wasn't here until after 11pm. I stayed up with my friends here until almost 2am, hoping that the time change would allow me to still log 8 hours of sleep. Unfortunately, by 7:15am I was up and a bit anxious. The sun seemed to be rising quickly and I knew that running early was my best option, no matter how tired I was, nor that we'd just eaten Chinese food at 1am.

I ran an hour and a half, with a few short walking breaks thrown in after the 50 minute mark. That's been my new thing, ever since the Boston Marathon punished me on its back half (I never did write a blog entry about the experience - i was completely laid up the day of the race, and somehow ended up leaving for a week long work trip to the Philippines the next day. I will write something and post it here, eventually). I have made it a habit of having to stop for minute long walk breaks. By 9am it was already pretty warm with the sun blazing down along the lake front trail in Milwaukee, and it was having its affects on me.

I am unsure of what my training plans hold now. I will be able to run here in Milwaukee again on Monday morning and then will be in DC for a long run Saturday before heading to West Virginia for a work related White Water rafting trip. The following week I can bike and run and log a long run on Saturday. That Sunday, the first one in October, I go to Japan for a week. The last time I was there it was for a quick 5 days and I was able to get in the runs I needed. This time I'm not so sure I'll be as motivated.

I must say, no matter how painful or out of shape (Boston was really only in April and here, just 5 months later I feel as if I've never run an hour before in my life) I am, running does leave me feeling great. So, I trudge on and attempt to get out there, but I just don't expect any sub 3:45 marathon finishes.

We arrived in Boston yesterday. We're staying in an area called Jamaica Plain. CJ spent a few years up here and found a nice rental house on Craig's List a few months ago. The place is comfortable and we're sharing it with my friend Robert, his wife Liz and Robert's brother, Brian. That's going to be my support crew during the race tomorrow.

We took it pretty easy yesterday, staying within Jamaica Plain. We had a burrito at the Purple Cactus for lunch and then walked along Center Street visiting a bookstore, a flower shop and some other local businesses. Robert, who took Amtrak up from DC yesterday, swung by the house and then went to the airport to meet Brian (who lives in Seattle but was flying up from Raleigh) and Liz (flying in from Vancouver, where she and Robert live).

Around 5:30pm I decided to lay down for a nap while CJ caught up with her friend Gretchen. I sunk into a deep sleep and awoke an hour later, just before Robert, Liz and Brian arrived. We all went out for food and then came back and crashed pretty quickly.

I had a great night's sleep. I was able to quell the anxiety which has awoken me around 5 am each of the past few mornings. Though I did wake up to use the bathroom at that time I was able to get back to sleep until around 7. By then the bright sun was shining, making for a gorgeous morning. We snuck out to get some coffee and a paper prior to taking in a 9am yoga class.

I've avoided yoga over the past week for fear of aggravating what's going on with my shin. My leg was sore all day while walking yesterday, but I suspected that the benefits of an hour and a half long yoga practice would help my hips and hamstrings more than it would damage my shin. Now, as I'm awaiting a well cooked, healthy brunch by Robert, I am feeling happy with my decision to go to yoga.

The class was nice and mellow and I was able to alter the poses which I thought would put too much pressure on my lower right leg. I'd informed the instructor of my injury and the fact that I was running tomorrow's marathon and she kept an eye on me throughout the class. At the end of the class she made a "good luck" announcement and many of the students echoed her well wishes. It was really nice.

My leg is sore and the anxiety of what's going to happen tomorrow is still sitting on my shoulders. However, I'm relaxing and having a good time with my friends. I'm looking forward to heading down to the marathon expo later this afternoon and starting to focus on the race.

I'm not feeling well. I was up too late, had a few sips of whiskey and only about 5 hours of sleep. I'm vowing to get in a nap and to get to bed early tonight.

I did just go out for a 2 mile jog, and can't say that my leg appreciated it. I'm icing it now and popped some ibuprofen. Now it's time to pack and head to the airport. This run definitely made me realize a PR is not something to shoot for. A FINISH at Boston will be an accomplishment in and of itself.

Though it was a bit more of a hassle than I expected, I was able to get the results of my bone scans today. In fact, just 15 minutes after I called Washington Radiology Associates to retrieve my results, my doctor called me to see if I had the scans in my possession. Unfortunately I had to leave a message with WRA, and told Dr. Pribut that when I left their exam room yesterday I did not leave with any scans. I wasn't even aware that I was capable of leaving with them, or I would have asked for them.

Dr. Pribut told me that each patient's experience there is different, but that I should try to get the results today. After lunch I called over there again and convinced the receptionist to fax the report to me, even though she informed me she "wasn't supposed to."

As I read the report, it indicated that my scan was negative, confirming what the technician had suspected the day before. The image below is the report issued by Washington Radiology Associates.



I emailed a copy of the report to Dr. Pribut and then followed up with him at his house. We spoke at length about music, running and life. His analysis of the report was that it indeed came back "negative," meaning that the bone scan does not indicate that I have a stress fracture. However, he did say that there are occasions where the bone scan does not pick up a fracture. I believe he quoted a percentage around 15 and I interpreted it as some sort of "error" margin.

He did clear me to run, though, which is exciting. He did provide a note of caution and didn't recommend that I attempt to run a PR (personal record). I was, indeed, looking to log a sub-3 hour marathon, 10 minutes better than my PR in Vancouver which qualified me for the Boston Marathon.

We spoke a bit about my training and I recounted that I'd run the Cherry Blossom 10 miler two weeks ago. When I told him my time, he indicated that may have been too fast. However, there was no real way to know exactly what was causing the pain.

So, I'm going to run! My confidence is still waning, but at least I get to run with my doctor's blessing.

We're flying to Boston tomorrow, and I'll be sure to check in with my feelings and thoughts tomorrow and Sunday.

I had a bone scan performed yesterday. The bone scan involved a two part process. I had to go down to the radiology clinic for my first appointment at 10am. During that time they injected a radioactive fluid into my vein and took a few pictures of my legs. Following I had to lie on my back and hold my feet in a position where my big toes were pointed towards one another. The technician put a few wraps of masking tape around my shoes in order to hold my legs in position while they took a few initial pictures of my legs with a bone scanning camera/machine.

See the picture below, which I snapped from my blackberry camera phone. I got a kick out of it because it was called the "Detector 1"



That entire process took about 30 minutes and I hurried over to the office afterwards. My next appointment was set for 1pm, so I Metro'd over there, arriving a few minutes beforehand.

The same technician who politely handled the duties for me earlier in the morning explained that this process would take a bit longer. Again, I lied on my back underneath the "Detector 1." This time, however, it took an entire scan of my body. I was able to comfortably lie on my back. This time, though, they had me remove everything from my pockets. That's because they were going to scan my entire body, instead of just take a few quick pictures of my legs.

The technician informed me that it was okay if I wanted to take a nap, which was something I longed for. The past few nights have not consisted of great sleep for me. That morning, in particular, I awoke at 5:30am and wasn't able to get back to sleep. That's a common occurrence when I'm nervous or anxious about things.

The Detector 1 started just a few inches from my nose. I closed my eyes and tried to breathe deeply into a state of relaxation. The entire body scan took about 15 minutes. Halfway through it, I opened my eyes and noticed that I was able to view the monitor of the scan. I could make out the outline of my skeleton of the area where the Detector was hovering over. Halfway down it was around my waist, and I anxiously kept my eyes open, hoping to catch a glimpse of when it moved over my shins.

The image was a black screen with a lot of white pixels which formed the outline of my bones. There were a number of moving pixels, too, reminding me of a busy highway viewed from an airplane window high above the road. As the scanner hovered above my knees the image became a bit wider, and my adrenaline rushed through my veins.

As it made its way over what I presumed were my shins, I tried to see if the right one looked any different than the left. In fact, on the monitor, there were two sets of images side by side. I wasn't exactly sure why, so my mind started to wonder if the "left" image was that of the left leg and the "right" image was of my injured, right leg. In all honesty, all four of the "bones" were very skinny and straight, so it could have easily been either two images of each leg side by side, or two different sets of my pair of legs.

Nevertheless, eventually a bigger "blob" began to appear towards the bottom of the monitor and I wondered if that was the "hot spot" of activity that I had been anticipating. But, as soon as I was readying myself for bad news, I realized that it was visible on all 4 bones on the monitor. I quickly realized the scanner had moved its way over my feet, and the blobs were my ankles, followed by my feet.

The timer on the Detector signaled the end of the scan, and we quickly took a few more pictures of my lower legs. One set was straight over my legs, with my feet taped, similarly to what we'd done earlier that morning. The second picture was done with me laying on my left side with my legs apart in order to capture a profile view of the bone.

The technician, who had indicated he'd seen a number of runners this week, and had been very cordial and comforting, told me that though he wasn't in the position to truly analyze the scan, he didn't see much difference between my uninjured left leg and my supposedly injured right one.

I lightly stepped down from the table, still cognizant of the sore feeling in my right shin. It hasn't been painful, really, however it's noticable. In fact, as I sit here and type this now I can feel the soreness in the tender spot along my shin. What it all means, I'm not sure.

Dr. Pribut is out today, so I'm not entirely sure how I am going to have him analyze the results or consult me on what is best for me. I've rested this entire week, but think I may try to run a short 2 miles tomorrow morning. When I first saw him he told me that another runner who he'd seen prior to me had a sore shin and he'd recommended she do a 2 mile run on Friday (today).

I had a dream this morning that I was out for a two mile run, but found myself more than two miles from home. I was really concerned about the potential damage it was doing to my leg. Part of me thinks I could get away without running at all, however, taking 5 straight days off without running almost makes me wonder if I'll even remember how to run come race day.

I've attempted to do some limited yoga and stretching, but it's been hard. Again, I don't want to compromise my leg before the run, but also don't want to go into the race on a completely different schedule of operations than I executed for any of my training runs. I was loving the days I ran when I'd done yoga the night before. It allowed my hips to open and hamstrings to stretch. Now, my legs will be rested, but will they be loose enough? These are all questions I'm milling over in my mind. I've had a lot of conversations with people who are concerned about my health. I'm truly grateful for every single person who has checked in on me or offered a voice of concern. However, what's really worrying me now, is whether or not my confidence will be on the level necessary to run a sub-3 hour marathon. I guess we'll have to wait and see. Race day is not very far away.

It's pushing bedtime and I'm pretty exhausted. Unfortunately i cannot say that I'm tired from running or yoga, or the combination of the two, which I had hoped would be the case this week. I'm tired from working and my body is feeling the effects of not having exercised in the last few days. Exercise is something I am addicted to; I love the endorphins that flow freely through my bloodstream from running and yoga. That's not something I've felt yet this week.

On top of that, I use exercise as a counter to my lazy posture throughout the day in my desk chair. Because I haven't had that release, nor the ability to stretch, my lower back is tight, as is my neck. It's frustrating.

I've been hyper aware of the feeling in my leg recently. Even though the X-rays I took yesterday showed no signs of a fracture (the doctor told me he expected them to return negative), my leg does hurt when I walk on it. I've been using rest, ice, elevation and ibuprofen to quell the pain and hopefully buy me enough time to be able to run on this thing come Monday.

Since my last post I have received a strong showing of support from many of my friends, family and loved ones. It's really nice to feel that people are concerned on one hand and rooting for me with the other. The encouragement is great, but there's still a small voice in the back of my head wondering if it would be unwise to run the race on Monday. Unfortunately, I don't think anyone can make that decision, other than me. So, bear with me as I figure out what I plan to do.

Tomorrow morning I go in for a bone scan. I have to go in at 10am to have a radioactive tracer injected into my arm. Then, i will return at 1pm to have the scan done. The scan will show whether or not there is a hot spot of activity of bone growth in my tibia - essentially showing that it is trying to repair a fracture. I don't believe I will have the results until Friday or Saturday.

One of my running friends informed me that Lance Armstrong had a stress fracture during his sub-3 hour performance at the New York City Marathon last year. You can read more about it here. In some ways that is refreshing. If Lance could run with a stress fracture, then maybe I can too. However, he did not know he had a stress fracture until after the marathon. He presumed he had shin splints and merely endured. I more or less know that I have a stress fracture, and have to make a serious decision about what running 26.2 miles on that will actually do to my body in the long run.

Right now I'm watching the NOVA program about marathon running on pbs.org. One woman suffered from multiple stress fractures in both of her shins, and was forced to drop out of her training. I'm hoping to find that my fate is different!

I'm pretty bent out of shape at the moment. I'm almost sure that I have a stress fracture in my lower right tibia (shin bone). CJ came up with the analysis on her own (to which I stubbornly objected), which has been 90% confirmed true by Dr. Stephen Pribut.

I went to see Dr. Pribut yesterday afternoon, following a morning spent sight seeing here in Washington, DC, with CJ's brother David's family. We had a great time touring the Capitol and then going up in the Washington Monument. The later was the highlight for me, because of my affinity to overseeing cities from high above. However, I spent the majority of the morning on my feet, which contributed to the pain in my shin. By the time I was seen by the doctor in the late afternoon, my leg was kind of inflamed and warm.

The doctor was pretty cool. I'd listed "Artist Management" as my occupation on the information document I had to fill out and that led us off with a conversation about music. When I told him I worked with "Punk, Metal and Rock bands" his first question was whether or not I knew of the "Yeah Yeah Yeahs." I thought that was pretty cool, especially since I'd toured the UK with a band who supported them years ago.

I was even more impressed when he told me his young daughter had dragged him to see My Chemical Romance at UMBC a bit before they broke big and he said "I could just tell there was something about Gerard (the band's singer, Gerard Way) that would propel that band to greatness." I wanted to tell him that I was raising funds for SSE who have done a number of events with My Chemical Romance. However, my mind was really focused on what was wrong with my leg, and whether or not I'd be able to run the Boston Marathon.

He asked me a number of running questions and felt a number of places along either side of my shin bone. The outer side is where it hurt the most, but he was still able to generate a bit of discomfort by pressing along the bone on the inner side, too. That, unfortunately, led him to believe that the damage was to the bone, and not just the muscle and tendon surrounding the bone. He wouldn't tell me in so many words, but I could read it in his expressions, that if the results of the Xray and bone scan come back negative, he will not recommend that I run.

That was really tough to digest.

I didn't go into work after the exam. I was really bummed out and pretty pissed off. I've been training really hard and have been attempting to raise funds with almost equal fervor. So, not only would it be a huge let down not to be able to run for myself, but also to let down everyone who pledged money towards "each mile I can run."

I am taking it day by day and I am going to rest this entire week. Luckily, I've trained hard enough to allow myself the ability to take a week off, and still be able to perform well during the race.

It's very hard to NOT be able to run right now, however. It's been such an integral part of my morning routine (and such a "release" and "endorphin rush") that I'm worried how it's going to affect me both physically and mentally. If you're interested to see how I hold up, continue to read here throughout the rest of the week.

I've been tapering over the past week and a half, which has meant that I've spent less time running. That, to me, should translate into having more time to keep my training blog up to date. Somehow, however, that has not been the case.

Last week was a relatively uneventful one in regards to running. After the Cherry Blossom 10 miler on Sunday, I took Monday to recuperate and then did the necessary 7 to 8 mile runs on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday with the 5 mile recovery runs on Wednesday and Friday. Every run felt relatively okay, aside from the fact that me left foot hurt quite a bit at the start of each of them.

The issue with my left foot is different from the brief bout with plantar fascitis I suffered from a few weeks ago. Now it feels more like an old soccer injury that I never had diagnosed. It's a pretty sharp pain that my less-than-an-expert self would more than likely diagnose as some sort of stress fracture. It used to hurt pretty significantly when I would play in my cleats on the really hard dirt fields in soccer. It's not resurfaced here, but after about 10 to 15 minutes of running it seems to dissipate.

In regards to having more time to write since I'm running less, that's been compromised a bit by the fact that I seem to always fill gaps in my schedule with something else which has been neglected. Occasionally that can be more work (as it seems that there is always more) or more social activities. This week, especially towards the end, my sleep pattern was thrown off relatively significantly. I am having trouble remembering exactly what caused me to stay up later than usual on Thursday and Friday nights, but I do remember dragging through those days.

Saturday I had to travel up to Delaware to see a band play. I was pretty exhausted going into it and was extremely exhausted by the time Stefan picked me up on his way down from Philly around 11pm that night. Luckily he was familiar enough with my bed time to understand that a bit after midnight I conked out in the front seat. I slept from Baltimore to DC, around 45 minutes, and awoke just as we exited the beltway for the remaining 15 minute drive to my house.

I managed to sleep in until just before 8am on Saturday for my scheduled 13 mile run. Stefan had come down to play with a soccer team that I've played on in the past (and have suspended my involvement so I wouldn't risk injury before the Boston Marathon). Their games are just outside of DC, in Maryland, and I told Stefan that my plan was to leave the house by 9am to run there. We'd looked at directions on Google Maps and it indicated that Stefan's driving distance was just around 10 miles. I presumed that running a slightly altered route would allow me to log my intended 13 miles, and if I arrived near the destination shy of that goal, I could fill the missing distance relatively easily.

Starting out from my house, my left foot hurt, as did my right shin. The shin problem appeared the day before at a yoga class. It was slightly aggravated before going to the class, but I really noticed afterwards. I cannot pinpoint exactly what may have aggravated it. This morning, on my run, I could really feel it. It felt like a really sore muscle on the outside of my front shin muscles, on the lower third of my leg. It hurt for the majority of the run.

I ran through Rock Creek Park and up Beach Drive towards the DC/Maryland border. The sun was shining nicely at the start and the temperatures were in the low to mid 50's. I was still dressed in a hat and gloves and had multiple layers on the upper half of my body. Many others were running in t-shirts, or at most, a long sleeve t-shirt or fleece. There were times that I was warm, but when the wind blew, I was glad that I had on as much as I did. I was listening to a podcast by Steve Runner.

CJ's sister-in-law, who is in town visiting with CJ's older brother, David, and their three kids, had recommended Steve Runner's podcasts to CJ over the phone that morning. He's like a number of other podcasters who records his/her thoughts while running. I had downloaded his podcast of him running last year's Boston Marathon, hoping it may provide some insight and continue to motivate me towards next week's race.

I really enjoy listening to podcasts and think that there are plenty of other things I would love to listen to. That, of course, probably means that I will have to continue running long distances. Because, I've noticed that as my runs have shortened in distance and time, the amount of things I've been listening to has also decreased (which is unfortunate since I keep stumbling upon other things I like to listen to). I mainly listen to National Public Radio programs like "Marketplace" and "Marketplace Money", and This American Life in addition to a lot of sports and running podcasts from The Final Sprint, The Competitors Radio Show, Trails and Tribulations and Zen and the Art of Triathalon Training.

Steve Runner's fate at the 111th running of the Boston Marathon was hopefully much different than mine will be at the 112th running this year. He was shooting for a 4:10 race, whereas I am still hoping to break 3 hours. Of course, that's if I can figure out what is going on with my shin and heal it between now and then.

During yesterday's run my shin was really causing me problems. With my foot issue it seemed as if "running through" it was a perfectly acceptable solution. Sure, the next time I lace up and head out the door my foot will hurt again for the first ten to fifteen minutes, but once I've eclipsed that warm up time, I am good to go. My shin, however, might be a different story. It never loosened up, and just continued to become inflamed and feel like a large bruise or welt. And, unfortunately, instead of erring on the shorter side of the mileage to run to Stefan's soccer game, it seems as if the route I took was quite a bit longer. My non-calibrated ipod pedometer logged the run at 17 miles, which means it was actually a minimum of 15. Not exactly the taper I was looking for.

I made it to the field a bit after the game had ended. Stefan and three of the other players had stayed to say hello. It was really nice of them to do so, and it was great to see them, but I was fairly exhausted. The impact of reduced sleep over the past few nights combined with these nagging injuries left me feeling completely run down. Now is the time that I am supposed to be benefiting from extra energy since I am cutting my mileage before the big race. I'm hoping that I am able to do so. And, with the way my shin is feeling, I may be forced to completely stop running instead of just taper.

I've done a bit of internet research on my shin and it seems as if it may be a stress fracture. To me that seems too extreme. I'm hoping it's just a major shin splint and with proper icing, rest and anti-inflammatory medicines I can be healed in time for Boston.

I am able to walk on the leg, though it does hurt to do so. It's not a debilitating pain, but is surely noticeable.

My schedule for this week looks like this:

Today (Monday) - REST

Tuesday - 5 miles in the morning and 4 miles in the evening

Wednesday - 7 miles w/2 miles at marathon race pace (dress rehearsal!)

Thursday - 5 mile recovery

Friday - 5 mile recovery w/6 x 100m strides

Saturday - 4 mile recovery

Sunday - OFF

Monday - RACE DAY

I am pretty sure that even if I reduce this schedule to something that doesn't aggravate my shin, I can stomach through the pain of the run on race day to ensure that I can run the Boston Marathon. I'll keep you posted!